Funny and Naughty!

So I really should be embarrassed to share these things with the blog world! But what the heck! I can laugh about them all now!

Here's scene #1: We are eating at Oreganos last week. It's like 8 pm. DVB is so done with sitting still so I let him toodle around the outdoor area as the rest of us finish eating. All of a sudden he walks up to another table and takes one of their chicken wings off their plate! AN ALREADY EATEN CHICKEN WING! I'm not sure, but I probably screamed out loud! The guy who he took the wing from says, "Oh it's ok. It's an already eaten one!" Me thinking: Really, no that's not good! *puke*gag*barf* OMG, what's your medical history? Do you have any communicable diseases? I didn't really ask him but I really wanted to!

Here's scene #2: We met the cousins at a Harlem Globetrotter game last Friday-one day after the chicken wing scene! I was preparing myself the entire day for the prospective behavior Wild Man might try to pull. So the show starts, they have his attention for about, oh, 2 minutes! Then he throws a fit because he wants to play with my iPhone. So to shut him up, I give it to him. Then he runs up and down our isle a few million times. No big deal... At halftime I bought the boys a basketball to share, wrapped in a shopping bag. He throws a fit and wants to hold the ball. Fine! Hold it! Then all of a sudden he bounces the ball of the kid-in-front-of-us's head! *gasp* Why didn't he go to BoBo's for a sleepover? Why oh why did I even for one second think he would actually cooperate? BTW, the game was fun, very entertaining! GOB says we can check it off the list though! What a party pooper!

Here's scene #3: This time it's DJB! The boys are getting dressed for school Tuesday morning. LOB says to me, "Mom, DJB didn't wear underwear to school yesterday!" Me: *coffee spraying out of my mouth* What? How could you possibly not wear underwear?" DJB shaking his head up and down almost proudly: "LOB is right. I just forgot to put them on!" Me: "OMG! You didn't tell your teacher, did you?" DJB: "No." Then I texted GOB and told him I now have to do ass checks in the morning and he proceeds to share the text with his coworkers! *mortified* And how LOB knew was a question I did not ask!

And last but most likely not least for the week: Scene #4: DJB again. As I'm making the boys supper last night, DJB out of nowhere says, "Mom, you know there's a kind of worm that can get in your ear and make you go crazy (as he's waving his hand by his head and nodding his head up and down)!" Me: *beer spraying out of my mouth* "Oh, really? I had no idea!" DJB: "Yep! And I've seen them at the cabin so you better watch out!" WTH? Where on Earth did that come from?

So that's been the laughter causing scenes at our house this week! I tell ya, you never know what to expect from DJB's mouth and I do, however, know what to expect from DVB's behavior! Good times, I tell ya!